I wrote about a page. I still dealt with distraction and veered off. But I'm pleased to say I spent about 3 hours with the process and though it wasn't a significant amount of work, for me it was nice to know that once I got started I could achieve some momentum. The hardest part really is just starting. For now I have to be happy with the small steps. There's so much work to do. But it's enjoyable for that awe I feel in the world where make-believe becomes reality.
I've been watching Game of Thrones. The production from the opening credits to the fight coordination, wardrobe, set design and the actors and story of course, all of it is so meticulous and grand and inspiring and it all came from pages of this one vision.
It all goes somewhere, the time spent in these fantasies. And to be there you must first be here at the prime conception, the moment where all possibility exists and the roads for such possibility are as tangible as the keys struck in this blog.
I want to do that. I want to be on set for that creation where the stories of heroes are held and supported in highest regard... Belief that I'll get there has become a sort of faith. I mean it has to be similar to that faith in the ideal of heaven: do this duty now and receive reward later. But I'd be happier with achievement. How much of each moment should be committed when nothing is OK unless you are accomplishing that dream . . . these escapes of mine are the only means of forgetting this internal pressure. It's temporary but it stops the confusion for a while between my nature and bad habits and this other investment towards a grander destiny. That road has to be built from scratch and almost a disregard for experience. It's not something your parents give you or a message prescribed by commercials it's just you embracing the power of free will.
I daresay it isn't natural tho. That's gotta be the reason why this gets so hard to commit to. Obsession with dreams outside the natural law of feed, sleep, keep warm require a will beyond natural inclination and how does one accept this will to be more valid than the base one?
People do it all the time tho. Look at Game of Thrones or any other film or TV show that absolutely must be a labor of love somewhere. Or at least it would be for me. Tomorrow I will go for p. 3. May will lie well.