Friday, May 1, 2015


Sometimes there are no fierce overtones. There's no rising crescendo or '80s movie montage expediting the great volume of work to be done.  Mostly it's just this - black on white - over and over and over again. I wish I could say this was satisfying but then I found out satisfaction was a byproduct of perspective.

I don't know anything about relativity except that things only make sense in relation to other things. Would that imply the absence of objective value? And would that be a problem? Sure right because government attempts to use evidence and fact to implement fairness or whatever substitute is now in place that prevents revolution. But the idea of fairness (or whatever) only applies when we agree on that issue and we settle for democracy as a way to say "well if the people who have a mind to invest themselves in the argument largely believe x, then x must be true." There's little left for those marginalized to argue. Either they are dismissed or, if they have another relative authority like wealth, they just override the far more fragile authority of agreement.

I'm getting the sense that the only way for passionate artists and critical thinkers to live is through their attempts at strategic manipulation of the mass of minds seeking solace in the confusion of relativity. Be the most relevant and relativity is yours. Money provides a false medium for universal value because it's presented as the currency which accesses all of life's spoils.

Maybe the real asset has always been that which generates income - the people and ideas. And so it's greatest adversary is the force that confuses real contribution for false contribution. More simply put: earned income versus credit, activism versus consumerism, education versus employment training, etc.

We won't fight the war in this post but I'm going to envision what a community of contribution looks like . . . 

There.  It's beautiful. I can also appreciate how a limited view would confuse this vision for modern society - because technically we give back through taxes and barter to some degree - but we don't really see work as contributing to society. That's just something we scream at teenagers when they're in the way (and not me personally and hopefully not ever because I used to be one after all).  We're really only ever working for ourselves because employment is too easily abusive. We don't operate according to transparent ideologies. Money has superseded intent and it serves only itself, conscripting souls along the way.

I've been getting on my own case because of how long it's taking to write my first post-graduate short story. I switched gears and finally started seriously editing my most recent films, shot last year.  I'm going to get the series of films up on vimeo under lock & key and then submit trailers to youtube to share space with my self-shot reality show and gaming streams. After that I continue to write and produce films in seasons while turning my eye to community building and developing the art of the campaign.

My bank account is in the negative and it won't be long before they look to shut it down but it looks like the food stamps will kick in and Medicaid is back so that's something. The preoccupation with my own poverty has been a real distraction and source of poisonous anxiety. I'm tired of it sitting in my mind like a malicious gargoyle. I need to embrace my freedom.

For the first time in my life, my time is truly my own. I'm master of my voice and free from the slavery of income.  I can set new terms for my contract with society and perhaps I can become the man I'm supposed to be.  

Belief is a tool. It requires instinct and will to wield it. We can have these things and still deny belief out of fear. We can also invest our instincts and will into areas of our lives outside of our control and lose the context for belief.  Alternatively, when we harness it and place it firmly into its place within the trinity - Instinct, Will, and Belief - I have to believe its manufacture predicates the basis for a preferred and powerful destiny.

The reminder: Steady young one. Focus.

Operating premise for Ronin Soul: Devil's Detour - Even our deepest will is only half our own.