Wednesday, July 11, 2012


Modesty dictates we humiliate ourselves. The nature of the humble man is to admit his faults and decline recognition of his strengths. To do anything else is liable to invite criticism. We fear that. We like our eligibility, we enjoy the benefits of a well-regarded ego. Science has taught us the ego is not acting alone. Before I continue I should say that what's brought be to this discussion is a lack of opportunity. I'm trying to give up one obsession and replace it with another one which has been greatly neglected. The formation of ideas, philosophizing, communicating and eventually using the influence of developed thought to enhance the world through story or conversation of some other means. But the premise, yes? No jobs. I'm suited for very little. My copy-writing is verbose and frankly I don't enjoy it for products I don't believe in and I doubt myself for products I might believe in because marketing is an industry of bullshit. You make buying decisions on analysis that means very little. You sell yourself, your own conviction to people that are too scared to take any responsibility for themselves. Ultimately what is of value is access to TV/Radio and Web. Something catchy, some well received art and smart wording and the right connections and you can sell almost any concept. I'm presuming. I have no direct experience but a track record of success isn't based on any quantifiable outcome because each deal may have been bullshit that came out of the last pile of bullshit being bought. It's simply people that understand how to manipulate public thinking with the presumption of being right. I think the public itself is too wild a beast to be predicted but if you only provide them with certain choices you only have to be as attractive as the other guy to get a share of public access. I digress. I analyze too much for that work and I think it's shifty. Can't get into hospitality cause it's got a fence and I don't know anyone on the inside. I have no admin experience, most offices prefer women and apprenticeship is a lost mechanism. I can't apply to full-time positions because of school and frankly there are no more leaders in the corporate world. Just over privileged bosses that are petty or indifferent, really human beings with a dose of authority that results in capable, hard-working folks supervised by fearful, self-important, morons. The greater the authority the greater the servant you are, both to your company AND your subordinates. They respond because you lead them. They curse you and hate you if you treat them like slaves. But it's better, from the company standpoint, to limit dissent with tyrannical behavior. The more difficult and irrational a supervisor is, the better chance they have at receiving a promotion. I'm ranting now. This was about self-discovery. I'm mad. I've discovered that. I will discover a few more things before the day is through and many of these things I'll forget. I suppose under the right range of influences I could be anything. And here's the kicker, the choice to pursue the development of certain discovered aspects is as much a part of who you are and can be as is what you discover in the first place. You are allowed not simply to take the good with the bad, although that certainly is a start, but also to become attracted to your own best attributes and to exercise them as a muscle. Leadership doesn't only come from taking responsibility for your faults, but also taking responsibility for your strengths. Imagine a romantic relationship where you never sought forgiveness for your insecurities because you understood the truth and chose to work beyond it. Imagine the way your parents would look at you if you simply embraced your destiny and let them know you were going to be OK. I'm jobless today because of the economy and because face-to-face interviews have been replaced with digital walls that only benefit understaffed HR departments who will probably hire the bosses asshole nephew anyway. But I can think and I am physically capable. I can work even if no work is given to me. I can be my own industry if I choose to be. Realizing this is a strength in itself. There was never anything to lose because nothing belongs to you, not even time which is ever flowing. The only thing that will attract the right things to you is accepting your greatest self and letting others know that you know things will happen exactly as they should. As long as you uphold your end, you're doing all you can and it is better to live with that pride than to fuss over the inequity of your environment.... Damn. Well we all need an outlet.