I spent about an hour feeling comfortable about a profile picture. I went through several snapshots on my web cam and found unsatisfactory statements being portrayed. I'm also a little loopy from some caffeine powder being sold in the drugstore. It was an experiment and hear caffeine is bad for you anyway. I was falling asleep prior from too much wonder. and now my thoughts are somewhat scattered.
At some point I'll be cold-calling for a new venture I'm involved in. My previous concern over the villainous, manipulative, salesman role is gone. Replaced is simply the foreboding of first interactions. Our life is often propelled through our reflections in the eyes of another. Being considerate is valuable, being an introvert is detrimental. I don't like it, it's strenuous but I do it in little bits and usually the fear is based in nothing but mystery. I move along ok.
When I exercise, I find extreme value in how the internal conflict between mind and body services in levels of pain and fatigue. It's like I'm finally having it out with myself after days of indecisions. Occasionally this spills over into other progressive acts, like cleaning, cooking and writing. But creating a discipline of success is still a work in progress and maybe always will be. It doesn't really matter to think about though until current levels yield sustaining profits. The industry of the soul being warped by tendency is like a big joke on the culture of youthful ambition. Guidance is not meant to be a luxury but a requirement. I give a lot of respect to people that can and have motivated themselves to their own targeted heights. However the passive suggestion to some inherent flexibility new parents may have about the care and support of their children can be a determining factor in the mass hesitation of young people to do anything more than build on their BC rank or study raid boss encounters or whatever it is that girls do with their time while boys plot to engage them.
I often receive statements from my closest elders about pride and peace of mind about how I turned out. But I know how I'm living and how I want to live in the future and the disparity is disheartening. Everyday I push and realize that during the exertion it's hard to remember why. By the time I get to looking at my own reflection, I'm confused as to what I'm searching for and that flux propels itself into the challenges invented by my initiatives, no matter how impulsive they were. I believe there are people out there that don't think nearly as much about the relationship between self and applied angles and consequence, but how human can you be if you don't learn as you go, but just act and accomplish without demanding reason or assurance. How are successful people created?
My parents aren't missing, they do have their own distractions. I'm not alone but I prefer my own shortcomings to those of others. I see that production and marketing all begin with pen & paper and solid appreciation for cause and effect. We could all be so effective if it weren't for the nameless. I can't honestly say I'm thoroughly distracted from writing or exercising or working all the time. I acknowledge that I wish not to. It is the paradox behind desire and it is invented here in society. If I can acquire, my existence giving me the opportunity to afford the acquisition, then what truly prevents the effort. A million answers and not one satisfactory about how determination prevents itself. I think language is generously applied to successful people, so much so that they seem pinnacles of focus. I have considered the idea recently that maybe success isn't hard won at all. For those most likely to enjoy and adapt to a subject of interest, it happens naturally and organically and with just regular practice they are often prepared when an impulse of supportive energy passes their way. It's possible that everything we think we know about hard-work is false.
Monetarily, systematizing an endeavor with a mixed team of specialists is standard practice for maximum freedom. Regardless, it seems daunting to the normal masses who yet even know what they truly enjoy working at. I generalize but I get out, I'm not crazy. We need a change of understanding.