Monday, August 31, 2009

What villainy will sponser...

I am lazy, easy to find comfort in routine, sleepy while writing, prone to take breaks to let myself be pulled away by people who have no idea what they're interrupting, unaware and partly doubtful of my full potential, extremely aware of time passing, analytical to a fault (impending action is analyzed), self-conciliatory, confident of how hard things can be, an isolationist, stubborn, regretful, guilty, comforted by the consistent warmth of lodging/provision of food/and general, but not actual, availability of family and friends.

I am not where I want to be in life because I am currently not the person that would deserve, survive, or make the best of, that position.

Who would?

I am stubbornly resolute, momentarily reactive, the vortex of my desires (spinning all relevant resources toward my epicenter for consumption), a subject of proven capability and flexibility, professional, direct, always accomplishing-displaying-inspiring-accomplishing more, in control of my time and emotion, my actions and ruling thoughts, able to deny all generous intent for the distraction it provides, single-minded, positive, prepared and gravitational.

As it is, write now I'm falling asleep. However (in the spirit of shorter posts), I think that every day, especially free days, require the development of an extra sense for opportunity relevant to one's desire. If it's to be more healthy then picking up bananas, almonds, whole grain bread and natural peanut butter is probably a better investment than going to a fast food joint to satiate the craving. Likewise, personal therapy like this blog is better than playing a video game. Writing part of chapter instead of giving in to the "I'll do it later mentality," is the closest I have come to progress today. It was only about a page and a half, but I got through it. It's nice to try the muscle but until it's an everyday thing, that whole "proven capability" quality won't even be an estimation.

So here's to beginnings: Cheers.

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