There is little that can be done completely alone. Even independent endeavors require, often times, an inspiration from the outside . . . or the inside if not directly born from the ego. My next supposition is broad enough that it may include a fair amount of people unfairly, but I feel that as a man I've inherited a distinct attraction to the concept of destiny. What I've found is that the road to its appreciation is littered with thousands of immediate experiences. The ambition to make life mean something greater is what helps me to recognize such a destiny looming like the sun, off in a great cosmic distance. And perhaps like the manifestation of man's next great evolution, I imagine traveling amongst the stars one day. There is a threat of being passive within all of us when the goal is so great that all motion stops and instead we contemplate the surrounding.
For years others have told me to set definable goals along the path. I have tried with ill results. My definable goals number in the dozens and time seems to move quickly enough to choke my appreciation of this process not realizing that being industrious is not a habit one just equips without earning it. I've spent time in between inspirations suffering from distraction, engaging in things irrelevant, enjoying the peace of not dealing with the responsibility of my acumen. I do analyze and attempt to live consciously all through my rebellion of the same purpose I search for, hoping that instead I'll be carried off in some current of serendipity and be all of a sudden inclined to work. Not realistic. And the fatalistic reality of a world without effort settles like a haze before the sunlight of vision.
Why? Because the ability to do; one man's capability requires a proof of concept. Each moment being a new one, the proof is like fuel. It needs to be consistent. Setup a goal, knock it down. Setup a goal, complete it and utilize the momentum. Setup a goal and let others see you accomplish. Setup a goal and finish it at. all. costs.
Faith is a muscle and although most people attribute faith to the gods or faith in one self as an act without proof, I believe faith comes from testing your strength and proving your increasing worth with knowledge, experience and wisdom. Faith will evolve in the trial as you understand your mastery and your influence through it.
I am trying again to live anew and exercise this emotional muscle, increase its power of influence and move beyond the state of today into the world of my future, a journey I have yet to uphold with little more than worry and forced indifference.
As you can see there is faith invested in a process of debilitation. I know what holds me back and it disheartens me. If I proceed through it, then the concept is broken and a new one replaces it. Do not lament the battles to come, appreciate the true enemy for it affords you the greatest measure of gain.
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